Day By Day© by Chris Muir.

Monday, March 21, 2005

This was sent...

... to me by the Tadpole. I don't know where it came from but it is hugely funny. Abbott and Costello are surpassed only by Walt ("we have met the enemy and he is us) Kelly for swamp humor...

Comedians of the 1930's-1950's Bud Abbott and LouCostello did a comedy sketch about baseball called "Who's on First?" It might have turned out something like this in our day of cell phones and computers:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT . . ABBOTT: Super Duper Computer Store. May I help you?COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou. ABBOTT: What about Windows?COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look inthe windows?

ABBOTT: A desktop and wallpaper.COSTELLO: I already have a desk with a large top, so never mind the windows with the computer. I just need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?COSTELLO: No. For the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business.What have you got?

ABBOTT: Office.COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: The Word in Office.COSTELLO: The only word in office is "office".

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows? I told you I don't want windows installed in my computer.

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".COSTELLO: I'm going to click your "blue 'W'" if you don't start with some straight answers! OK, forget that. CanI watch movies on the Internet on this computer?

ABBOTT: Yes, you'll want Real One.COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!

ABBOTT: Real One.COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel2, 3 & 4. Can I watch them?

ABBOTT: Of course.COSTELLO: Great! With what?

ABBOTT: Real One.COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?

ABBOTT: You click the blue "1".COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?

ABBOTT: The blue "1".COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue "W"?

ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" isWord.COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.COSTELLO: But there are three words in "office for windows"!

ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word inthe world.COSTELLO: It is?

ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many otherWords left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.COSTELLO: And that word is "real one"?

ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office.COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

A FEW DAYS LATER

ABBOTT: Super Duper Computer Store. May I help you?COSTELLO: Your people set up this computer in my den and turned it on, but how do I turn it off?

ABBOTT: Click on "START"..........

May your own bog be filled with laughter,

Kermit

1 Comments:

At Mon Mar 21, 11:23:00 PM, Blogger Joe said...

That was so funny I had tears in my eyes from laughing so hard.

 

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