Day By Day© by Chris Muir.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

A high level contact in the...

...Puzzle Palace, Washington, D.C. discussed (off the record) a new plan for the Middle East.

They formed an elite 750 man force of men from Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi, Missouri, Oklahoma, Tennessee and Texas called the United States Redneck Special Forces. On next Wednesday, they will be inserted into Iran in a series of HALO jumps. They have been given the following information:


1) The season opened today.


2) There is no limit.


3) They taste just like chicken.


4) They don't like Jesus.


5) They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the death of Dale Earnhardt.


6) Their favorite movie is "BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN".


We are expecting the solution to Mideast crisis by September 12th. At that time they will be extracted by a special amphibious unit of Coon Ass Cajuns that have been training the entire U.S. Navy at a special school near San Diego for the last three months. The United States Redneck Special Forces will be immediately taken to a mudbug boil and beer bust in whatever is left of Dubai. BooRah!


Go ahead and say that you read it in the bog 2 days before it was reported by the Knee Jerk Times.


Kermit

3 Comments:

At Thu Aug 10, 08:36:00 PM, Blogger MonicaR said...

Oh! I love this. I may have to link to you and do an entry on it!

You have forgotten to mention the Brigade of Menopausal Women. (BMW) Perhaps it's not polite to mention it in mixed company, but these women would like nothing better than to handle a fully automatic weapon and kick some terrorist ass. We are very annoyed by their antics and atrocious plots. In addition to THAT annoyance, the hot flashes in the middle of the desert will send us into an ululating rage.

 
At Fri Aug 11, 05:11:00 AM, Blogger Kermit said...

To use an old standby quote...

"There ain't nothin' funny 'bout a woman with a gun!"

Kermit the Quick to Run

PS - maybe we could trick the terrs into handing out the weapons!

 
At Fri Aug 11, 03:31:00 PM, Blogger J C said...

I have forwarded this to Dubya for immediate implementation!

 

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