How To Fix Social Security...

Tuesday, February 15, 2005 - still pf a "pre-glitch" vintage


GIVEN: Social Security is in trouble.

HYPOTHESIS: Social Security can be fixed.

BACKGROUND: Social Security is a trip to FDR's Casino. It works like this. Everybody regularly pays in small amounts of money for long periods of time. Not everybody lives long enough to draw out all the money that they put in. Between it's inception and the time that the government started borrowing from it (LBJ - to help pay for Vietnam and Social Programs) the Social Security trust fund was growing. Like all good Casinos, the statistics were in favor of the management. More money comes in than is being paid out. But, demographic changes happen. The longer a person lives, the more money that person draws out. Sooner or later, the paying out of benefits increases until the money going out exceeds the money coming in. This is a problem.

SOLUTION: Readjust the demographic upon which Social Security is based. Reinstate the draft! Make the draft mandatory for every modestly healthy person aged 55 and older.

DIRECT BENEFITS: Life expectancy of beneficiaries decreases to the point that money coming into Social Security exceeds money being paid out. Once again FDR's Casino becomes a profitable venture.

COLLATERAL BENEFITS: These are primarily of a military nature...

1) The manpower shortage in the active military (non reserve components) will be relieved.

2) Training costs will be lowered considerably as many recruits will be Vietnam Era vets, and will already know how to senselessly slaughter women and children.

3) The length of time necessary to maintain a large military force in the Middle East will be considerably shortened. There are very few, if any, military, paramilitary or terrorist forces that could stand up to a bunch of really pissed off old guys running around the desert with heavy weapons and air power.

4) Other benefits to the overall population accrue, but, to avoid being labled a 'RIGHT WING NUT CASE", I will not go into them here.

Happy Retirement...

Kermit